66: Discomfort with him

Discomfort with myself

I haven’t seen him in weeks. Maybe it’s been months now.

He was a familiar face, as I used to see him two or three times a week. He was, actually, one of my known faces.

38: Known faces

But I didn’t mention him before because his presence in my life, the sight of him, brought discomfort. I didn’t like thinking about him, even though I couldn’t stop once I saw him. I had so many questions. I had some pity. I often had anger.

He seems to be gone now, and this absence has been a relief. I’ve stopped being apprehensive about walking towards the spots I always saw him.

When I don’t see him, I don’t have to confront how I’m like him. That’s the crux of the discomfort. I had questions and pity and anger to try and put distance between me and him.

His absence means the only person I can consider is me.