27: The Straw

The first part of my estrangement origin story

Most of the family estrangement stories I’m exposed to come through Philip Galanes’ Social Q’s column in The New York Times. Anecdotes that bring up estrangement etiquette concerns related to weddings, grandchildren, or aging parents. One-minute reads that normalize the concerns and thoughtfully offer solutions. Despite how intimate I am with the subject, the situations still feel very separate and other. Despite how intimate I am with the subject, I have spent little time outside of personal counselling to get even more intimate.

12: The chị and em that aren't

Support groups or books on the subject hold little interest, and there is only one other person in my life who has also dealt with estrangement. We are close friends, but I find it interesting how our understanding and support is almost unspoken. We know enough to know enough. I feel it is most definitely a IYKYK slice of life.

I wonder if the lack of needing to endlessly connect about our situations is because the estrangement was the release valve. Frustration and pain and struggle came before. Estrangement was a choice I made, and I think theirs also, to try and leave those feelings behind. Working through them after, such as with counselling, has been about dealing with the consequences and settling dust.